It hit me like a ton of bricks when I was sharing my thoughts on recovery with other alcoholics and addicts earlier this year (2015). I was sharing my Experience about living a sober life and realized at that moment, that I’ve had “actual experience” living sober. Not just 30 or 60 days being clean, but years!
I realized I have gained Strength by first:
- Being sober
- Second by working my program to the best of my ability
- Being able to live life on life’s terms – (and damn this can be hard some days!)
This moment was astounding to me to say the least. I didn’t show emotions even though I could’ve cried with the happiness and the gratefulness that was inside me. I thought to myself, “My God, I can’t believe I’m standing here saying the things I can say, knowing what it’s like to live a sober life and be happy?” And at the same time thinking about where I was in my life with my alcoholism, depression, hopelessness, and everything else that comes with this horrible disease. “How did I ever get here?”, I asked myself. I really couldn’t believe it. But I did know one thing. I was here because of my Higher Power. This whole thing is bigger than me. I don’t need to try and figure it out. It’s exactly what it’s supposed to be for me.
And last, I understood that I was sharing Hope due to the experiences I’ve been able to face and manage. Those experiences have then built by my strength to know I can live with this disease! I knew at that moment I was meant to go through my own journey of hell so I can help others recover by sharing my story.