We all came from one place before it all started. That place is called our mother’s womb. Well, today I’m starting out in a similar place with my blog. This is the conception of all my thoughts and perspectives. I guess I’m “born again” if you want to call it that as I type these very words. I’m not really trying to think about the exact things to say. This is why I’m typing exactly what you’re reading at this very moment. I feel I’m a pretty decent writer in the sense, only due to the clarity I have in my life today. I don’t know how to explain it in one simple paragraph to be honest. I was really bad at English classes in high school. The funny thing is, that I wasn’t a star English student in my class. And, I was pigeon holed into taking AP English because that was the only class left the worked for my school schedule. Here’s to my AP English teacher during my senior year. Thank you!
I didn’t have a good attention span either when I was younger. I was more on the artistic side, painting stories in my mind. Hence, reading books was boring to me. I only saw words when I read, not the story inside the words. Plus, I had a heck of a time writing papers because of it. But somehow, with some sobriety under my belt and focus, I’m able to write like I do today. Maybe not how the English experts would want me to write with correct sentence structure and punctuation. I’m not a professional writer in the sense. But their opinion doesn’t matter to me. It’s your opinion that matters the most. And, it does matter to me!
Simply, I want to help to build your faith and strength that you too can free yourself from the grip of your addiction. It’s time to leave your addiction in the dust! How do you feel right now, good? Great! Let’s continue on why I decided to do this blog.
So, I decided to do a blog about my journey of alcoholism and recovery, and open up to the world to share with you whatever comes to my mind, my heart, and my soul. I actually have my mind back being sober. I have a heart that is growing daily, being sober. And my soul is being filled with joy and faith each and everyday, being sober. Even at this very moment, I write not for myself, but for you. The person who may still be suffering with this terrible and destructive disease. An disease that robs a person from all the talents they have! The talents YOU have!
And I write to help inspire those who are living a sober life and living in recovery to go after something bigger than just being sober. Even if it’s something like writing a blog about your story. We don’t have to wait for anything or anyone to tell us we can repair our lives. You’re winning and repairing your life if you’re sober today. Remember, it takes just as much time to repair our lives as it did to ruin them. Be patient, keep focused, relax, and enjoy the ride being sober. It’s way better than being depressed, hung over, or in jail. And remember, rides don’t always go up. (See Calm Waters post – “No one’s ever had a scowl after riding a roller coaster”)
It starts today, for all of us to build on what yesterday was or wasn’t. Some may have succeeded in whatever way you feel you succeeded at doing at today. And some may feel depressed or less than to what the world expects of them. They didn’t do enough to prove that they’re a success. “For whatever that means?”
Well I’m here to say this, “That you are a success if you’ve found my blog page and are reading this entry at this very moment.” Why? Because you were willing to do something different than you did yesterday. That is a success in of itself. We have to take baby steps in recovery. Congratulations, you just took one or two steps forward to freeing yourself from your disease.
You had to focus your mind and “take the action” to read this. You didn’t expect what to read. But I want you to know, I know how you think. Maybe not exactly, but I might be pretty close at times. Do I have your attention yet? I hope I do, because I’m here for you. I’m writing for all of us! For the men and women, teenagers and adults alike to let you know I understand the pain of this disease. I’m not going to try to pretend I know what you’re feeling at this very moment and I never will. But I’m pretty sure I’ve felt, thought, and done many of the same things during my use that you’ve done or thought.
So what should we talk about next? I’m open to talk (writing) about anything. Anything that comes to mind that will give you hope, but most importantly faith that things will be good again. Remember this, “God doesn’t get us sober just to throw us back”. I saw this somewhere and I don’t know who’s quote this is, but I’m definitely not trying to steal anyone’s quote. I guess I just want you to know that someone up there, something up there or around you, LOVES YOU! I personally believe no one can deny this. Why? Because this world was built on love, not evil. Men only choose to be evil. We naturally (as human beings) love one another and so does a higher power around us and in us. Don’t fight this feeling if you feel love in your heart. And don’t fight trying to be strong when you’re most likely at your weakest point in life with your addiction. It will keep you sick and could kill you.
May your find the faith that your life can be reborn into something great!
Derek L.